Last time we checked Geri Halliwell hasn’t been anyone’s role model since 1997, so quite why she’s been asked to ‘design’ a range of swimwear for high street bore-fest Next is anyone’s guess. Yes. We’re barely into 2011 and already it’s time for the first celebrity swimwear collection. Being involved in her forthcoming line was, “a dream come true” claimed Britain’s more irrelevant woman. “It’s all about inspiring confidence with great looking swimwear for all body shapes.” Well, she should know, she’s yo-yo’d up-and-down more times than Posh’s titty implant sizes.

The artist formerly known as Ginger is also pretty pleased with herself; not just for being the face of the brand, oh no, she is so much more. La Halliwell actually spent her own time sourcing the fabrics too. Rather like what came before care of Scary’s shudder-inducing clothing collection, the omnipresent animal print means it’s more Kat Slater then catwalk. Demented Spice’s input could clarify this distinct lack of fabric variation – which she explains away by saying it’s all the same so we can mix and match! So now we get it! Thanks for clearing that up, G!

Well not everyone hits the bullseye with the first dart. Anyone above a size 12 who is misguided enough to front a Geri cossie in a public place will only be inspiring our sympathies, pity, and certainly some guffawing – esp if they go for the cross body animal print number.

See you on the beach Geri!

Words: Kelly Morris

Posted on January 10, 2011 at 7:03:10 by The Real Runway