Now. Mariah Carey has never been known for having been beaten around the head with a good-taste stick - we know she wipes her ass with rainbows and eats unicorns for breakfast whilst Nick Cannon polishes her Hello Kitty vibrator, BUT THIS IS GODDAMN SACCHARINE INSANITY!!

To promote her trio of sickly, E number infused Lollipop Bling 'fragrances' (entitled, Mine Again, Ribbon and Honey) she has launched a website so offensively kitsch in its execution that it defies belief. Actually I defy you not to be able retain your lunch whilst browsing the site, simultaneously agog at the horrendousness of it all.

Our heroine, Mimi, sits kinda Buddha-eqsue atop some cotton-candy clouds which proceed to whirl around at top speed like assaulting your senses and stomach like only drinking an XXXL milkshake on a fairground waltzer could. Seriously. We should be thankful we don't get wafts of the syrupy nonsense from our screens.

The ONLY thing TRR urges you to do with this site is take up Mariah's advice to 'Say it with candy' and sign-up your worst enemies up to 'CandyGram' whereby they'll receive a whole heap of sickly-bile into their inbox. Genius!

www.lollipopbling.com

Posted on July 21, 2010 at 11:16:52 by The Real Runway